Disclaimer(s)

Disclaimer to the Disclaimer: I've decided to abstain from order, lineality, logical flows, attempts at objectivity or formal structure, or even the best diction. Basically, to borrow from a friend's new blog, these will be (perhaps always have been) for not much more than practice. I think I want to be a writer, and this will be a "place" for raw material, exercises, flights of fancy, etc.


Disclaimer: Not that my blogs' strong points have ever been coherency or consistent logic (the leaps of logic are less leaps, and more teleportations), I don't plan on making a lot more sense with these. Maybe I'm lazy, maybe I've finally killed the last few brain cells that enabled me to string ideas together and make sense of anything. Really though, I consider my mental state the only obvious and reasonable reaction to the 21st century American environment.

So, I guess dearest reader, consider most/all future blogs like an improvisational jazz performance (i know, bold claim, but just follow me here) in being aware that things may not always be pretty, may not flow or even sync up in a way that makes sense, but every once in a while, on some nights and moments, things just hit right. Maybe things get in a good groove for just a minute or two before it all breaks back down into free sounds, untethered to logic/normal rhythm, operating on nothing but feeling or the intensity of certain artistic/whimsical choices...

i watched an ant today carrying something much larger than itself. it made me start singing jay-z's big pimpin to myself, maybe a little to the ant, too. and then i felt terribly lonely. i finished my front porch cigarette, went inside and left the ants to the cracks in the driveway.

We've Been Watching Wrestling Videos Again...

I reprint here, for your consideration as our new national anthem, Hulk Hogan's theme song, "Real American." Keep in mind that legislation would be passed to require an enemy combatant receive an irish whip, boot to the face, and leg drop during every public rendition. (I realize that's probably pretty unreasonable, but let's pretend that we live in a future world where guantanamo prisoners are rented out for purposes like these, in order to fund more anti-terrorist, baby-saving surveillance technologies. See, basically, the private sector would be introduced to guantanamo, and corporations could use prisoners as slave labor, Hollywood stunt doubles, legdrop recipients, etc.) (Or maybe we could just legdrop a liberal, because Ann Coulter says they're pretty much the same as a terrorist.)

Sorry for the near-tangential prologue there. Moving on...

(Read it aloud, with gusto; it'll keep those "colors from running.")

I am a real American, Fight for the rights of every man,
I am a real American, fight for what's right, fight for your life!

When it comes crashing down, and it hurts inside,
ya' gotta take a stand, it don't help to hide,
Well, you hurt my friends, and you hurt my pride,
I gotta be a man; I can't let it slide,
I am a real American, Fight for the rights of every man,
I am a real American, fight for what's right, fight for your life!

I feel strong about right and wrong,
And I don't take trouble for very long,
I got something deep inside of me, and courage is the thing that keeps us free,
I am a real American, Fight for the rights of every man,
I am a real American, fight for what's right, fight for your life!

Well you hurt my friends, and you hurt my pride,
I gotta be a man; I can't let it slide,
I am a real American, Fight for the rights of every man,
I am a real American, fight for what's right, fight for your life!
I am a real American, Fight for the rights of every man,
I am a real American, fight for what's right, fight for your life!



I consider it a major military and foreign policy blunder by Bush that he did not declare "Real American" the new anthem on September 14 as he famously stood on that pile of rubble. When he addressed the workers via bullhorn and said "I can hear you. The rest of the world hears you. And the people who knocked down these buildings will hear all of us soon," he should have added "and they'll also hear this sweet Rick Derringer tune about being a real american. And it's gonna be fucking loud, too," the workers responding with a resounding, energetic and fluctuating chant of "USA, USA! Hogan, Hogan! USA, USA!"

And let's face it, that Francis Scott Key shit-spangled banner song or whatever is sooo 1800s. It's your fucking grandpappy's anthem, and we need a powerful, hip young message that lets the evildoers know we're not gonna let shit slide. Oh no, "when it comes crashing down...we fight for what's right," even if we're not totally sure what that is. (Although, I've been told it's the right to buy a shitload of flags and suddenly rediscover blind patriotism as a replacement for political awareness and participation in democracy.)


Come on America, get your shit together, quit being a pussy, and write your congressman to tell them the next time you put your right hand over your heart, you want to be singing this:

Buddy Holly’s Post-Apocalyptic CageMatch 3000

I'm working on a new series of post-apocalyptically themed adventures occurring in a Lubbock gone mad with lawlessness and impossibly harsh conditions. It stars a formerly cryogenically frozen Buddy Holly as he fights to become the new Lord of Lubbock and save humanity. There will probably be cage matches. Oh, and astute cultural observations. Gotta have some of those.

I already came up with a photo of the thawed Buddy Holly and his sidekick, Ritchie Valens. Both were frozen by the government to be revived later in order to save rock and roll. Or, rebuild humanity amid a radiated, violently upturned world. Whichever came first. As you can tell, both were intravaneously fed steroids during their frozen state.

I guess I'm shooting for a mix of Mad Max, professional wrestling (hence the bodies and tag-team championship belts provided by former 80s greats Road Warriors Hawk and Animal), and uh...cultural and media criticism. You know, lowbrow and highbrow clashing to create something absurd. Here's the image:




I know you're not really supposed to share stuff that's still in the creation/idea stage but I was so excited and, as the song goes, I just can't hide it. Who knows if I'll actually get motivated to write a short story or two about this. Writing some fiction has been on my list, and all I can seem to motivate myself to do is complain sarcastically about life and politics. I'm ready to just create something strange on its own, as opposed to being just commentary on something else.

Josh Justice Announces his Run for President, A Nation Swoons

And then, suddenly and without warning, I was 24 years old, goals leaping into vision and glimmering with clarity, youthful bad habits shed for the prim and proper fashion of responsible adulthood, life on the straight and narrow, an upper management position practically looking for me, dental benefits now certainly within reach, the thrill of being a responsible, tax-paying citizen finally guiding my way.

That's right - no more daydreaming, loitering on the Internet or drunken capers for this former layabout. No more drinking at 5 pm and watching marathons of Walker, Texas Ranger or The Two Coreys until I nod off with potato chip debris in my beard, chest and lap. Lazy, directionless, aimlessly adrift, motivationally-atrophied life no more!

Nothing but a serious effort from now on, a grown man marching boldly toward a goal. Vices and distractions be damned!

Confidence found! Inspiration discovered crawling with life beneath the upturned rock of sloth!

A winning attitude radiated from my newly purchased business-casual outfit!

Lust finally redirected toward the true satisfaction of overachieving!


Hell, maybe I'll start going to church again, donating part of my money from the no-doubt-millions I'll be diving into like Scrooge McDuck, to Jesus. Although I've heard he'd just turn around and donate it to the Republican party.

But wait! I'll be joining the Republican party! Yeah, now that I'm gonna be a big time businessman with stock options and outsourced, third-world labor at my disposal, I've gotta go with the Grand Ol' Party! These shoulders o' mine are gonna be rubbing with shoulders of CEOs, VIPs and other acronymed individuals.

Yep, I woke up today and BAM!, suddenly I didn't want to go to the bar anymore. Oh no, heavens no. I wanted to jump in the car and speed on over to a resume specialist so I can maximize the effectiveness of my carefully orchestrated diction to explain my previous jobs' responsibilities. See? I'm already getting better at verbiage! Boy, adulthood: this is gonna be a piece of cake.

Next thing you know, I'll be living in the suburbs, shopping for turtlenecks at the mall, forwarding office jokes to coworkers and buying an SUV with television screens that fluidly descend from overhead compartments.

Won't you join me, kids? I can already tell it's gonna be a veritable feast, with heaping helpings of self-control, stability and seriousness. The three scrumptious S's. Oh, and sprinkle a dash of commitment in there somewhere for some spicy flavor. MMMmmm, now that's what we call the tasty stew of adult life. Yum!

Or perhaps a metaphor more accurate than some goulash would be a white-knuckled thrill ride through the sexy, debaucherous underworld of documents, deadlines and dependability. The three devilish D's. And we could add nitro tanks to add another D - danger!

Man, who knew adulthood could be so fucking awesome?!?


But, there may be a dark lining to these beautiful, cumulonimbus clouds of excitement and opportunity. It's true, my biggest fear is that I will no longer be generously catered to by marketing and advertising teams keen on reaching the young consumer demographic. Let's face it - I'm getting older, and without lifestyle ads that help me to purchase items that reenforce a well-groomed image of myself, how will I know what to buy?

Boy, adulthood may be more challenging than I thought.

Oh well, I'm sure that if I bury myself in my work and then bury myself in the electronics purchases I make as a result of my solid income, I'll be fine. Corporate world, I am ready, willing and able to bend over for your cycle of consumption, I offer up a backside to your train of stockholders. It's true...

A willing cog in the churning guts of some corporate machination, I am ready to be mangled into adulthood.





I think this might be my generic cover letter from now on. What do you think?

Positive Drug Stories

Comedian Bill Hicks had this great bit about never hearing any positive drug stories in the news. You only hear about the dipshits who get really high and jump off a building thinking they'll be able to fly. Here's the transcript:

"You never see positive drug stories on the news, do you? Isn't that weird, since most of the experiences I've had on drugs were real fucking positive. Who are these morons they're finding, that's what I want to know...always that same LSD story you've all heard - 'Young man on acid thought he could fly, jumped out of a building. What a tragedy.'

What a dick. Fuck him. He's an idiot. If he thought he could fly, why didn't he take off from the ground first? Check it out. You don't see ducks lined up to catch elevators to fly south. They fly from the ground you moron. Quit ruining it for everybody! He's a moron. He's dead. Good. We lost a moron. Fuckin' celebrate. Come on, I just felt the world get lighter. We lost a moron, put on the Hammer album, I'm ready to dance!

I dont mean to sound cold or cruel or vicious, but I am, so that's the way it comes out.

How about a positive LSD story? Wouldn't that be newsworthy just once, to base your decision on information rather than scare tactics and superstitions and lies? Just once? I think it would be newsworthy.

'Today a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration, that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively, there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream and we are the imagination of ourselves...

...here's Tom with the weather!'"


So that was the transcript from that bit. Now, the drug being discussed in the following story is obviously different, but I thought the Bill Hicks thing still kind of fit. It was a primer, if you will, to the funniest story I've read in quite a while:

The 1 Congressional Softball Team is Drug Policy Reform Group
(From Aug. 2)
WASHINGTON, DC – The One Hitters, a softball team sponsored by Students for Sensible Drug Policy and the National Organization for the Reform of Marijuana Laws, took over the 1 ranking in the Congressional Softball League last night. The team's 13-3 record has vaulted them to the top of the league, which is made up of Congressional offices, lobbying and consulting firms, non-profit organizations, and local businesses.

Team leaders are especially proud of the ranking, which contradicts negative stereotypes of drug policy reformers as unmotivated "stoners." "The drug policy reform community is made up of dedicated, hardworking people who take the issues of drug abuse and drug prohibition very seriously," said One Hitters captain and SSDP Executive Director Kris Krane. "We take pride in fielding a fun but competitive team that dispels myths and stereotypes about people who care about ending the so called 'War on Drugs.'"

The One Hitters have competed in the league for five years. Two years ago they made national headlines when the White House Office of National Drug Control Policy refused to play a game due to ideological reasons. "Everyone knows that ONDCP backed out because they were scared of losing to us on the field, much the same way they are afraid to debate us because their policies fail in the court of public opinion," said center fielder David Guard, who is associate director of the Drug Reform Coordination Network. "We have an open challenge to the Drug Czar to play or debate anytime, anywhere."


That's awesome. Especially the shit-talking by the center fielder.

Hot Fuck Action TO THE MAX

Sorry for the title. I just wanted some attention today, and I thought a base, sexual quote from Boogie Nights would do the trick. Also, further apologies may be needed because if you were indeed expecting said maximum, piping-hot fuck action, well, you may have to go elsewhere.

Unless of course, your loins ache at the mention of things like:

Executive Privilege
Mmmmmmm...steamy!

Impeachment as a cure to the constitutional crisis in which we find ourselves
Aaaww shit that's hot!

Or even the oh-my-god-its-burning-my-skin-dont-touch-it heat of
No Warrant Eavesdropping Programs


Wet yet? Sure you are. I know you get off on that shit.

There's so much hardcore fucking of the rule of law right now by the White House that it's mindboggling. However, there is the occasional, sweet, legislative moneyshot delivered via true statesmen (i.e. not politicians) like Dennis Kucinich that occasionally brings hope. Take this scene for example between Rumsfeld and Kucinich:



Extended pornographic metaphors aside now, Rumsfeld's statement about how "if there was [a press strategy] it obviously wasn't very good" is extremely deceptive. That statement, while seeming to be a moment of truth, a moment of admitting to not managing the war well, is not at all what it seems to be. In fact, it is itself part of the White House press strategy - to confuse, to dance around questions, to lay the blame elsewhere over and over again, creating a cycle of confusion that eventually leads to exhaustion among the investigators and, most importantly, confusion and apathy among the people.

Gonzales and now Rumsfeld have created such a mockery of the entire investigation(s), that it is impossible to understand the entire situation, the context of their lies and obfuscations. And considering the television culture and the medium's inablity to address complex issues, mixed with peoples' ever-dwindling attention spans, people simply grow frustrated. But because they cannot understand that it comes from intentional devious motives of the White House and Bush's appointees, I'm concerned that most people will get tired of the mostly-Democratic-led investigations. They will come to see the investigations as political theater, as a mere show fueled by partisan politics. In fact, that's how Tony Snow, other White House spokesmen and party-loyal Republicans are trying to frame the debate.

And the mainstream media continues to portray it as such. I wish people would explain that this is not about Bush or about Cheney. Those who want to get to the truth are not out to get Cheney or Bush. They are concerned for the OFFICE of president and the OFFICE of vice president. The limits of Bush and Cheney's power fell away the day after the collapse of the World Trade Center buildings. They took full advantage of the real fear people felt, and used it to butcher checks and balances and to give themselves powers never before entertained by previous administrations.

I wish one Democrat would stand up and ask Republicans how they will feel when Hillary is able to wiretap American citizens without a warrant. I can certainly tell you that Fox News would take up their torches and practically incite a riot outside the White House. They wouldn't allow Clinton to frame the debate so that it's about "protecting us from terrorists."

But, getting back to my point, that's what it's about - maintaining the delicate balance of federal power and the integrity of the constitution.

But also, to me, it's about being able to fucking believe in something. And that brings me to the troops, if you will. I'll preface it by saying that I am not fit for the service. I've always been more of an 'indoor kid,' a reader, a...confused twenty-something trying to find meaning in 21st century America.

That being said, I believe/hope most of the military, especially the young enlistees, genuinely and sincerely fight for their beliefs. They fight for their vision of America. It's true, I believe while some may enlist for financial or career options, many do so because they want to defend a way of life they believe to be the best in the world.

While I may have my own beliefs, I completely support these emotional and genuinely patriotic motivations.

THEREFORE:
We should morally support the troops by employing the utmost skepticism toward their actual combat use. Be fair to their ideals by using them only when the situation is most dire, when our way of life is truly in peril. And unless you are one of the underwhelmingly informed, yet passionately vocal minority, then you are aware that Iraq and Saddam Hussein had absolutely zero to do with the events on 9/11.

Furthermore:
When people say to support the troops via myspace bulletins detailing the hardships of soldiers in Iraq and ask you to repost it if you support the troops, and to not repost it if you don't care, well, that's fucking frustrating and, for lack of a better term, dumb. It lacks the depth of thought required in this situation. It lacks the depth of thought that the troops deserve.

When making the issue of troop support a black and white issue, it does a disservice to those in the military. It's not about either morally supporting or not morally supporting the actual people fighting and dying in Iraq. (A flag decal on your car doesn't get you into heaven.) No, of course we morally support any 18-year old kid or middle aged parent that is willing to put themselves in the way of bullets and explosive-wearing enemies to defend America. The point is to honor not only them, but the sincere visions of America for which they are fighting.

I believe the current adminstration is guilty of not supporting the troops or using them in accord with their reasons for enlistment. They only support them semantically, wielding patriotism as a political weapon while obscuring true patriotism. (Read the facts of Pat Tillman's death and the public relations-motivated coverup, and try and deny what's going on. It was a hell of a story, but it was a lie. And while Tillman can be called a hero, only the truth can do his sacrifice justice. Same thing with Jessica Lynch.)

It is this co-opting of troops' true motivations and struggles for political purposes and wars that I find disgusting and un-American. So support the troops not with mere decals (probably made in China), gung-ho flagwaving or by never saying anything remotely "negative" about their Commander-in-Chief, but instead by paying attention to their mishandling by the powers in charge. Instead of just posting pictures of the brutality and hardships in Iraq, juxtapose those images with the handshakes between war-mongering politicians and the Halliburton contractors as they prepare to reap the benefits of the military-industrial complex.

(By the way, that last term was coined not by some liberal long-hair or far left ruffian, but instead by a Republican president who also happened to be the Supreme Commander of the Allied forces in Europe. Dwight D. Eisenhower. Who, I am told, was hot fuck action to the max.)

Then again, paying attention to shit is hard. Waving a flag and calling the flagless cowards or uncaring is much easier.

I have so much to say...

But I am not going to say it here. At least not yet...

However, I will share some photos. Finally. I know, I have fallen far behind on posting photos here. Actually, I haven't posted any photos at all...unless you count the photo in the header/title area. Enjoy, I am gonna go pat myself on the back for doing something somewhat productive.

Some bike pics I took while helping some students work on a photography assignment:






These were taken for a story on tuition increase that will be in the next Tech Impressions (Not sure which ones will actually be in the magazine, but these are the ones I gave them.):