Ix-Nay on the Ucking-Fay

Yesterday my mom came in my room with an unusually serious expression and said, "Josh, we need to talk about something." Naturally, I became a little concerned, not really a matter of a guilty conscience, but just nervous about something potentially dreadful of which I was not previously aware. I asked, "About what?" to which she classically replied, "I want you to wait 'til you're married to have sex."

After a brief moment of silence where one of my eyebrows probably shot above my hairline, we both had a good laugh. She then told me she had seen this commercial:





Dude, when I was the age of most of these kids, I was still giggling at sexually-posed action figures.

Then again, that's not really different from now.

But on a more serious point, the most recent federal report on abstinence-only programs reveals they've had “no impacts on rates of sexual abstinence.”

I'm so glad our tax dollars are funding programs that don't actually work, but that make conservatives (who are probably too prudish to ever actually follow the advice of this commercial) feel better.