Starting Over with God
It's true. God and I had gone awry somewhere, had bottled up too many things, had left too many things unsaid, and had simply... fallen out of love. Our sex life was laughable. And we fought, oh did we fight - and over the simplest things.
So, we hired Dr. Phil to personally meet with us and cast beams of wisdom and compassion from his radiant cranium into our soiled hearts.
And also Viagra. That helped us out, too. (wouldn't Christboner be a cool name for a metal or hardcore band? maybe even like a deathmetal-christian band)
On another note, are we to understand that the listing is in the order in which we are to do them? Clean the garage? Exercise? Like, does doing some squats come before ultimate transcendence to an eternal heaven? Rippling calves before divinity? Gluteal dominance precedes purity of heart?
God: "No fatties."
2 comments:
How can one start over with god WITHOUT first taking out the garbage and exercising? I really don't you can. Think about it. What if god wanted to come over to see how you live before he was ready to start over. He would then see the trash you have not taken out and the untouched exercise equipment. I really don't think god would want to start over with someone like that.
Also, it says this place was in Austin. I have a new mission, this seems like it should belong in Lubbock. Therefore, I will either find the one in Austin, steal it and bring it back to Lubbock where it belongs. OR I will find something like this in Lubbock, I am sure one exists...
Good point, God wouldn't want to see the way I live. I'd want to put on my Sunday best and febreze the shit out of some stuff before He came over.
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