The Gangly Arms of My Inner Child, Mid-Flail in a Temper Tantrum for the Ages

I found a job in Austin, and essentially, I could have my first day of work on July 9. That being said, I continue to look for other things, especially considering the doubts I have with the one I've found.

The job is with Texas Campaign for the Environment, a non-profit activist group, and I would basically be a canvasser. I would go door-to-door talking to people about the organization and health/environmental issues, and I would gather signatures, contributions to letter campaigns, and of course, financial contributions.

The last item there actually comes with certain required goals, and not meeting them means you may not get your full paycheck.

But even that may not explain my feelings of hesitation.

It may be the thought that I would have to take myself far too seriously and be bound to a memorized script.

I understand that in order to optimize the organization's reach and effectiveness, they train their workers to stick to a script, a script that has understandably undergone years (TCE Founded in 1991) of crafting, fine-tuning, editing and compacting into a tight message for maximum efficiency in minimum time. But I don't know if I would care to stick to it. We'll see. They are mailing it and other information to me so I can make a more informed decision in the following days.

I'm probably just making excuses. I'm sure the job would be better than some of the abominations I've found. And I can get behind the organization/my employer on a personal level. I mean, I wouldn't be working for a Corporate Multinational Globo-Chem-Pharma-No-Bid-Government-Contracting-Military-Industrial-
Complex-Bureau-Dept.-of-Greed. That's kinda nice.

Really though,
I'm just tired of looking for a job. (I realize I'm not alone in these feelings, and I am also aware I'm not entitled to any special sympathy just because I've written about it; I just need a brief reprieve from the soul-crushing drudgery of online jobhunting)

Apparently, I'm just going to have to get rich the old fashioned way.

Marrying a rich woman.

Hmmm...


What are my chances?

And besides being rich, she is improving her reading suggestions.

(Faulkner? Touche, Harpo Productions. But what about the latest Nicholas Spark's offering? ...No?)


Instead of job hunting, I've been thinking I could maybe make a video resume with me doing cool Patrick Swayze-Roadhouse shit mixed in with some state-of-the-art, multimedia tomfoolery and some friends providing inspiring testimonials about how I saved Christmas, went to school, joined the army, slam-dunked, went to camp, and also, Rode Again.

Wait, that last part may have been Ernest's career filmography, not actually anything to do with me. Sorry Jim Varney.

Anyway, then I could put it on youtube and wait til' the offers from Hollywood, Bollywood, Dollywood and James Woods come pouring in. Followed shortly by of course, the money.

Stay tuned for said video resume...