The Films of Andy Sidaris

Andy Sidaris is an unsung hero and genius, and definitely a student of Roger Corman. He is the director of the films you will see in the following clips. All of the movies are a part of the Trible B Collection, which stands for babes, bombs and bullets. I'll go ahead and give you a minute to fail at coming up with anything else you could possibly want in a film. ...

....there. Now, watch and enjoy. These are fucking hilarious. First you'll see the trailer for Hard Ticket to Hawaii, then some clips, then some more trailers.



This scene might be the best ever.


This one's none too shabby.


Fit to Kill Trailer


Day of the Warrior Trailer


And maybe the best for last, this one is called, simply enough, GUNS! The narrator alone deserves a serious bevy of awards, and the writing is knuckle-bitingly hilarious. And did I mention the star power in this one? I didn't? Oh, well, we'll let the badass narrator do that.

moving sucks. life decisions suck. then you die.

So, for those of you that don't already know...or for those that care to know...I have moved to a different house.

Still in Lubbock. Still in the Bible Belt. Don't worry, I may not be leaving for a while.

Back to the moving part...

I would say I was pretty happy with where I was living. It was a pretty central location in Lubbock. Decent neighborhood. Nice neighbors. Oh, we had a Korean Baptist church across the street and on Sunday's after church we would sit in our front yard and watch them play ping pong in the church parking lot...very shibby! I paid about $400 total a month ($300 rent + $100 bills roughly) which wasn't great, but was affordable; plus having an extra room for whatever made it worth it. I planned on staying here until I left Lubbock; I was no longer in a lease and could leave whenever I wanted/needed to.

The our landlord starting having health issues. Basically, he is pretty close to
kicking the proverbial bucket. I feel bad because he is a good guy. Granted, he took a while to get shit fixed around the house, but still...a good guy. Well, because of said health issues, he was moved into a old-person hospital. Basically, a retirement home type thing. Sucks. Well, we kept paying rent by simply giving the rent check to his wife...who took them without thinking twice. We then started having some minor problems around the house. Our bathroom lights went out (not just the bulbs like something electrical) and our screen door pretty much got ripped to shit by some of the bad wind storms we have had. Both minor inconveniences, we (Eric and I) figured out ways around the problems.

I mentioned the problems to the landlords wife and she knew nothing. She told me she would try to ask the landlord, but guaranteed nothing. This went on for about three months. Finally, since we weren't in a lease, I figured the best situation was to move out. I was afraid that if something major happened (ac goes out, major leaks, etc.) she would know and do nothing. Well, the second I mention moving out to her, she very quickly gives me the number for the landlords son, the son who has been taking over the rent houses they have. WELL FUCK!! This would have been great information about two months ago. I could have called him and gotten shit fixed and not moved out. Well, I then find out that they are turning over the house to a leasing agency. I then reassure myself that it is time to move out. I was sure that if we stayed, we would be forced to sign a lease and they (the leasing agency) could possibly raise the rent.

I would have stayed, but I do not want to sign a lease anywhere. I don't know when I am leaving Lubbock, although it looks like later than sooner, but I do not want to be tied into a lease.

So Eric moved into a pretty fucking sweet efficiency. This efficiency was once a pool (with water type pool) house and was converted into said efficiency.

I moved into a house with my friend Kyle. It is a pretty sweet deal. I would stay a long or short as I wanted. It is closer to work (I could ride a bike if it hadn't been stolen). And it's the same I was paying at my old house.

Now I hate moving. I mean hate it.

Sure, there is the whole "starting over" aspect. And it gives me a chance to get rid of a bunch of shit. Especially since the house I moved into is fully furnished.

But I am lazy. I waited until the last minute to move. I really didn't pack much. It finally got to the point where I just started throwing shit in my Jeep and going. I will mention, having a Jeep made it a little easier to move, although I still needed the assistance of David and his truck. Well, like I said, because I waited so long and pretty much threw shit in my Jeep I didn't go through much. I have been doing that lately, once I got everything out of the old house.

Fuck, this has been a pretty depressing weeks. Apparently, I held onto a lot of shit from my past. Here is a list of some things that I found that really put me in a bad mood:

- pictures of family - back when things were good, everyone was healthy and happy.

- pictures of my dogs which we no longer have - I know it may sound gay but since my parents raised Golden Retrievers and I had no brothers or sisters, the Goldens kinda were my siblings. I would run around with them and whatnot. One of them actually played soccer with me...I'll have to explain later. But they were great. I always felt happy with them.

- pictures of deceased family and friends - I think this one pretty much defines itself.

- senior high school yearbook - now this isn't that big of a deal, although I kinda miss those day, but it reminded me that all my other yearbooks along with all my childhood pictures, etc; families belongings; family memories; basically everything that me and my parents owned was in a storage place that gotten broken into and everything was stolen. So basically, all we own is the few things we have had for about the last five year. All our physical memories, except for what we have for the last five years, are gone.

- unused college graduation invitations - basically this was a reminder that I really haven't done much with my life in the three+ years since my graduation. In fact, I am still working in the same department that I got my degree from. Sure, I am doing something and my be impacting some students somehow, but I feel like I have done nothing. When I was in high school, I was making about 50k a year just bartending. I would go back, but the place I made this much money at has been closed...for several reasons.

- pictures of my ex gf - I do not know why I still had them stashed away. But they helped me remember how things are now...sad and lonely. Damn cheating whore.

- many other little things that just made me remember my past and how much happier I was then.

I mean, I always knew moving was a pain in the ass, but I never know how depressing it could be.

I am still slowly in the process of unpacking and honestly don't want to finish. The idea of living out of boxes for a while seems like an interesting concept to me. Unfortunately, with the amount of crap I still have, this will be somewhat impossible.

Plus, there is no telling how long I will be staying here in this house.

I had a plan. And I was going to follow it no matter what. Move out of Lubbock in January. Great plan. If I didn't find a job elsewhere, I would head to Dallas; surely I could find something there.

Then more duties at work came. Then came shitty employees I had to cover for and eventually fire. (I have fired two people this semester, and it felt damn good too!) Basically, I really did not have time to look for any jobs anywhere. Well, I still decided I would just move to Dallas and find work and save and look for better employment. Still an OK plan, until...



NEW CAR!!! yea! But with this comes car payments and insurance payments. BOO!!

Yeah, I know it's a shitty picture, but still.

But I didn't have much of a choice. My old car was dying and was costing me more money to fix than will my new car payments.

So, having a steady paycheck, while it may not be much, sure helps a lot. It also, has really got me thinking about future plans. Near future at least.

Plus, there is grad school. I have always planned on going back, eventually. My parents are constantly pressuring me to go back.

OH, did I mention I get a free class from being a Tech employee? Well, I surely do.

Plus, since I would be going to get a Master's in the same department I am working, the same department I already know everyone in, might make things a little easier in terms of getting help, etc. Sure they would bust my ass more, but I would appreciate the challenge more since I know them.

I know it is probably not the best idea to stay. But I have too much here right now with my current situations. Mainly the steady paycheck and somewhat easy job. AND there is a lot of shit going down at my department and there have been talks of moving me up.

So, I don't know where my life is going. I am going to try to get into some grad classes in Spring and see if this is really what I want to do. I know I have several people in Mass Comm backing me to go to grad school and teach. Part of me wants to. Part of me whats to leave and find something else, possibly something better.

I do know this: If I do stay another semester. Which will most likely be my last (I know, I have been saying that for two years now). I need and will get my shit together. If I do decide to go to grad school, I may stay at Tech. But I doubt I will be working at Tech. Unless things change greatly, Spring (if I stay) will be my last semester working at Tech.



Wow, I really did not expect this to be so long. And kinda boring. I would apologize, but fuck it. It's my blog.

I am sure some of you, maybe many of you, are unhappy with this. Possibly angry and you think I am dumb for staying at Tech any longer. But I really feel, at least with the way things are right now, this may be a better situation for me; certainly not THE BEST, but for where I am both financially and emotionally, it may have to do.

Damn. Sometimes I am really dumb about life decisions.



Oh, on a side note, I have started therapy again. Fun times.

An Observation About My Job and Other Jobs

I work with two other gentlemen. One is the boss and the other, well, he's also my boss. I'm certainly the grunt of the operation. The "hired hand." As a matter of fact, I learned recently that I'm below the boss's pit bull in rank, but just above the cat that lives in the barn.

Which got me to wonder, since I most likely started at the bottom, does that mean I got a promotion? Success!! Take that Boo! (barncat's name)

But, still I pet you...

Anyway, the thing I like, considering the type of work and the type of people, is that there's no damn way I'm going to get tangled up in any awkard situations with a coworker over buying summer sausage or popcorn tins to support their kid's fucking debate club fundraiser.

Which I think is Fucking Awesome.


Rob, you know what I'm talking about.

And christ, the worst thing, the worst fucking thing is when they just leave the order form laying there on the breakroom's snack-table, and they'll have put some homemade brownies or something beside it to lure and guilt you into action. There will probably be a note too, about Madison's debate topic this year or Chad's score for his soccer team last weekend, and by that point, fuck, you'd have to walk out of that breakroom with your head down if you didn't buy anything.



Or, I suppose, greedily and quickly with brownies in pockets.

Josh Runs the Voodoo Down

It's official - my parents go out more than I do.

They went to drink some adult beverages at the home of a friend, while I travel lazily and half-assedly around the Internet, literally shrugging my shoulders at the sites I typically check daily. I don't know, I haven't even been able to muster much political or news-type reading lately. After reading the headline, that's it, I'm too beat down to chance my blood pressure with the actual article.

I tried to talk to my social life last night, see if it was still awake. It didn't say anything, so I poked it with a stick to see if it was even alive, only to have it elicit some unclear grumbling and what may have been a burp. It's not dead I don't think, but it might be in a vegetative state.

I'm guessing the Republicans will stop what they're doing and convene an emergency legislative session to keep me from completely pulling the damn plug on the whole thing.

The other day I was discussing life plans, or a complete lack thereof, with a fellow friend and Alpinian. His concern is that he’s 25 years old, lives with his parents, is basically unemployed, and he shares my wonderful ability to never commit to an idea for long enough to make it an actual opportunity for employment.

Basically, we’re together at this whole quarter-life crisis, beached on some shore of indecision and fear. We constantly reflect that Orson Welles had finished Citizen Kane and moved on to other ventures at this age. Truth be told, we’re afraid we’re aging without anything to show for it.

Except justifiably concerned parents.

But then I got to thinking…People of other ages - 30, 40, 50 - are always told nowadays that their age is the new 20, 30, 40, respectively.

For example, "You're 50? Ah, don't worry about it. 50's, like, the new 40!"

So, by that logic…

25 is the new 15.

That’s right folks, if your parents are starting to eye you suspiciously as a failure who may continue to eat their frozen goods when they’re not looking for a frighteningly undetermined amount of time into the future, just relax and tell ‘em that’s no way to look at somebody 15 years old, dammit. You’re sensitive, going through some serious changes, and are confused. You can then run to your room, slam the door and crank up loud music that embodies that abstract and hormonal rage inside you.

Then, if you’re like me, you can go about your 15-year-old way of trying to lose your virginity and passing chemistry. (I settled for the less exciting but probably more important latter challenge.)

I guess this whole being 15 again thing means I should start thinking about what college I want to go to, maybe what field of study interests me most. I’m thinking something with the Internets. I hear they are not unlike tubes, but quite unlike dumptrucks.

As for a college, I figure I’ll just base my selection on the quality of sports team that I will spend drunkenly supporting every weekend. Or I’ll base it on Playboy’s ranking of colleges’ percentage of attractive women, or a combination of both. Oh, and how could I forget? The real clincher will be whether or not the school has a leisure pool…

On a different note…

Have you people lived with automatic, self-cleaning litterboxes?

First of all, do you live with a box of shit in your house? I do. But this box of shit is no ordinary B.O.S. (for brevity-sake), oh no, it’s got computers in it, or robots, and it apparently converts feline waste into pure energy. I just can’t figure out what nefarious, intergalactic projects it plans to fuel with this abundant resource.

One of the cats I live with, who we’ll call Tom, is endlessly fascinated with it, often running the length of the house at the first sounds of its magical self-cleaning ritual just to watch it work, often with his head at an angle and whiskers all atwitter. Another cat, now deceased, used to be terrified of the damn thing, forcing the placement of an old-fashioned, non-self-cleaning B.O.S. in a different part of the house. I’m not unconvinced that the mechanical terror of the dark, new age of robotic feline waste management didn’t send his elderly heart racing even faster toward that light at the end of the tunnel.

It's Monday Night, and I Don't Watch Football. Also, Blackwater Gets a Pass.

Dallas Cowboy quarterback Tony Romo has agreed to a six-year, $67 million deal.

From the AP:

Being quarterback of "America's Team" has fit Romo quite nicely.

He's already dated country star Carrie Underwood and been linked in gossip magazines to Jessica Simpson and, as of this past weekend, Britney Spears. Romo spent his bye weekend in Los Angeles and wound up at the same place as Spears, landing him back in the tabloids.

"It comes with the territory, I guess," he said.

So do the big bucks.

I honestly cannot wait, cannot fucking wait, for this country to go down in flames. (i'm thinking fall of Rome meets Mad Max, but without Tina Turner. Although don't get me wrong, she's done some fine work, I just wouldn't wish that on her.) The thing I can't figure out, is will I watch from across the globe, or will I stay here to watch people burn their sports memorabilia in trash can fires to stay warm?

(while walking around in wal-mart the other day, I asked myself, "Soo, what don't I own in the Dale Earnhardt motif?")

There are moments when I feel like fleeing this country is giving up, and that to stay here and fight for positive change is valiant, and that maybe even some of this place is worth saving.

But no. When I read that, (and the next item) NO. We will get what we deserve. So take that foam #1 hand and wave it for three hours tonight before you go back to your deadend, wage job at 8 am tomorrow. Go ahead and root for someone that wouldn't take the time to piss on you if you were on fire, and feel free to spend that hard earned money supporting our faux-gladiators and all-too-real coliseums.


Monday Night's Reason #2 Why We Get What We Deserve, or, Why "They" Hate Us

From CNN.COM

State Department investigators promised Blackwater guards immunity from prosecution for last month's deadly shooting of 17 Iraqi civilians in Baghdad, according to officials familiar with the matter.

Angry? You should be. I am. And I'm comfortably adjusted in an air-conditioned home, completely car-bomb and bullet-riddled-children- free!

If you were an average Iraqi citizen, one torn between conflicting ideologies, living in kaleidoscopic violence, and your country's "freedom-delivering" occupiers completely shielded their own armed, murderous vigilantes from prosecution, wouldn't those conflicting ideologies begin to become painfully, vengefully lucid? Wouldn't that hesitance, that patience, that personal and political moderation finally take its last offensive blow? Those weapons sold and traded like common goods on the streets - would you still decline to take them up in your own arms? Could you still justify pacifism and non-resistance toward the United States? Honestly. How would you not riot? Why would you not fight?



And if you think Iraq might have some say in prosecuting these mercenaries, well think again. I mean, even though we're saying we want the Iraqi government to start taking charge, we deny them complete sovereignty over their own country:

Security contractors have immunity from Iraqi law under a provision put into place in the early days of the U.S.-led occupation in Iraq.

You, and more importantly the Iraqi citizens, have Paul Bremer to thank for that decision. Bremer should be tried for war crimes. Or, at the very least, criminal dumb-fuckery.

Guess what his title was? Director of Reconstruction and Humanitarian Assistance for post-war Iraq.

Humanitarian assistance.

Unbelievable.

He also received a Presidential Medal of Freedom.


I'd say "unbelievable" again, but I think we all pretty much know that while Bush is in office, those Medal of Freedoms are about as valuable as a Grammy.

Tardy Transmissions from Beyond the Bible Belt - Episode 1

As widely circulating reports have suggested, I, Josh Justice have indeed escaped the tyrannically tight belt that is Lubbock, and have tossed it along with its shiny buckle to the wayside. I can't say it was a a Great escape, certainly nothing of which Steve McQueen could be proud. Perhaps it was more of a whimpering crawl, a sort of duck and roll out of Lubbock and into...into...?


Alpine, Texas - population 5, 786, hometown of yours truly and site of such fame and infamy as, um...hmm...an Alco store? A True Value? I think one of the guys from Bonanza went to Sul Ross University, the college here, which locals sarcastically call Harvard on the Hill. I think they actually offer a major in Ropin'. But yeah, Dan Blocker.

Got his masters in drama here. Oh, and Arlo Guthrie (son of Woodie, grey-headed longhair, devourer of marijuana and mushrooms) once played the Railroad Blues bar, but demanded that nobody smoke. I asked my mom if there was anything I was forgetting, and all she could think of was that we may have had a minor league baseball team here many years ago.


I'm living with my parents again, moving into a room that greeted me with far too many scented Yankee candles and paintings of flowers on the walls. My stepdad constantly watches Fox News - won't watch any other news - but I'm eating far better than I deserve. If we talk about Iraq, it's seriously like we're talking about two completely different things. There's not even enough common ground to debate.

All over town there are signs posted in front yards that say SUPPORT THE TROOPS. LET THEM WIN!!

Yeah, two exclamation points on that last bit. I like to pretend that the signmaker(s) actually had to spend some time debating the perfect number. "One? Hmm, not enough, but three might be overkill. Better just to settle on two. That seems reasonable."

I'm considering writing a letter to the editor asking them exactly what we will win. I'm hoping it's our national dignity back, but since we can't blow the shit out of something for that, I figure that won't be the answer.

Why can't we support a victory over ambiguity and sloganeering? And also, sure, everybody's loves winning and hates losing, but isn't it also how you play the game? Why not post signs that say something like "GENEVA CONVENTIONS. LET THEM BE FOLLOWED!!"


But yeah, I digress. This is supposed to be about me, not politics.


I, a graduate of Texas Tech University, graduated with honors with a degree in Electronic Media and Communications. This qualifies me (barely I think) for my current job as...

...a ditch-digger. More precisely, I install septic tanks. Yeah, where waste (could have gone with all sorts of juvenalia here, but I tastefully refrain...for now) goes. It's hard labor, usually with a hand constantly on a shovel, a tape measure or piece of pipe waiting to be glued.

I certainly am unable to use anything I learned in college. But at the same time, I feel like I am gaining an education perhaps more valuable, one that brings with it useful and simple concepts of hard work, humility, concise communication, and on a side note, a greater appreciation for the outdoors. I mean seriously, who would have known I could have been a fan of the outdoors? I always considered myself an indoor kid. Damn, maybe I should have checked it out sooner.

We've been working in places like Study Butte, Terlingua and Lajitas, deep south of Texas...There is certainly something to be said for the wordless awe of the sheer geologic majesty of rock jutting out of the earth 6000 feet high, with white patches of salt deposits still lingering from the fact that it was once all under the ocean. I like to pretend that the air above highway 118 split by our vehicles was once an ocean depth split by sharks...after all, shark teeth are abundant here, especially around the tops of anthills, where the little bastards have brought up the dental evidence while making their elaborate tunnels.


Getting in better shape, gaining an understanding of beerdrinking with co-workers after a long day...these are things I like. Sometimes, as in the other weekend in Marfa, I am confronted with the concept of...hmm, maybe I'd call it shame or something, I'm not sure...but when asked, "So, what do you do?" by a not-unattractive female, I hesitate before boldly announcing, "I install septic tanks." If they grimace, I like to follow it up with, "Oh yeah, and I live with my parents."

That always makes them even more fascinated in me. I can tell.


I awake every morning to the television in the living room blaring Fox and Friends, the only show hosted by people that, honestly, if I had nothing left to lose in this world (i.e. I wouldn't feel guilty for going to prison/dying and leaving friends/family behind), would actually murder.

But that's dark. I had hoped there would be some hope in this blog. Or at least some hopeful twist on my current status. All I know is that I'm not unhappy. I miss friends from Lubbock. I do. And I'm not one to really admit, even to myself, that I need people. After years of considering myself a lover of solitude, I am ready to admit that maybe I'm a little restless with solitude.

My life is work, sleep, work, sleep, read, sleep, work. That "read" is valued ever more for its dwindled opportunities.


Oh, and in conclusion, besides the septic tank installing job, I have a job on the side with my mom. Yes, my own Mommy Dearest. We mow lawns. No shit. And she has a serious, legit job with the government - ICE, to be exact, ICE being Immigration and Customs Enforcement.

I call our little venture Mama's Boy Mowin'. We do good work.


Damn! How could I forget this? For those that know me as a bespectacled cynic in love with music, air conditioning, and watching b-movies while under the influence, you might be surprised to know that I've been driving one of these:



It's true. One of my first days on the job involved me driving that up a mountain to a job site. I also was wearing a cowboy hat and boots. That being said, my boss is a bit of an extravagant spender, so we have XM radio in the tractor. So, while I was driving this damn thing, I was able to listen to Morrissey's "Every Day is Like Sunday," which left me, possibly quite egotistically, with the notion that such a scenario had never quite occurred before. I mean really, how many people listen to mopey British dudes while driving a backhoe on the way to dig a 6-foot deep hole in which to put a septic tank?


Of course, immediately following Morrissey, I found and listened to a Creedence song. I basked in the feeling of appropriateness.

Life regrets and my ever-growing depression

Have you ever had a time in your life when you start regretting all the things you have done in the past few years...maybe even most of your life.

Well, that’s how the last week and a half have been for me.

Things seemed to be somewhat looking good. I was really looking forward to getting on with life after Tech. Although I wasn’t sure where I was going, I knew I was going to be leaving in December/January. I was ready. Ready for something new. Ready for that next stage in my life. OK, well maybe I wasn’t totally ready, but I knew I had to leave or else I would be staying around much longer.

I was not sure what I wanted to do with my life, but I knew getting out of Lubbock would at least get me going in some direction. I have become somewhat comfortable and am no longer “challenging” myself to find something better.

So, things were going good. I had a plan. A very basic plan, but a plan nonetheless. To get out of Lubbock. My future would be uncertain, but Dallas was promising with several people I know living there and hope they can get me some type of employment.



My plans are somewhat slamming hard into a proverbial brick wall.

I do not know what to do anymore. I am starting to regret so much of what I have done with my life over the last few years. Especially since graduating from college.

I graduated in May 2004. I had signed a lease so I was stuck in Lubbock for at least a year. I got a bartending job and also fell into a job at Tech (mainly because I was available and someone else got sick and was going to be out for a long time.) At this point, I had no plans to stay after my lease was up. I would move, probably back to San Antonio and seek employment, trying to put my college degree to work.

Well, after that first year at Tech, they decided that I made enough of an impression that they needed to create a full-time position for what I was doing. So, although I was already doing the job, I had to apply for the position. I did. And I got the job (It would have been really bad had I not gotten the job since I was already doing it.) Again, I never planned on staying this long. But they kept giving me more money. So, I stayed.

Now, had I known I was going to stay at Tech this long, I should have gotten my Masters. I never planned on getting it, but if I knew I would be at a place for this long, I would have gotten it.

Well, it is now October 2007. A little over three years since I graduated from college. And I am still at Tech. Still working the same job. Still not knowing what exactly to do, but knowing I really should get out of Lubbock.

My plan, until about a few weeks ago, was to leave in December/January and move. More than likely to Dallas, at least for a few years. Then maybe to Portland.

But now, things have changed. I have been having major car problems. And In June, my parents finally decided I need something new. Well, I did not disagree. The plan was for my dad to help with the down payment and I would make monthly payments. Fine. I knew I would be getting a second job soon anyway to help save money, but now it would be to help with car payment too.

Well, about a week ago I got a new car. Finally. And its not that I don’t like it, I do, but the payments…the payments are really something I can’t afford. I mean I can, barely, but I would not be saving anything for when I do finally move. If I move.

Well, this is where the “fun” has begun. (Well, this is where my depression gets worse.)

So, my dad has been pushing me to go back to school to get a Masters. After the last few semesters, I have begun to think I might like to teach. I have been helping out the photography studio class the last few semesters (some may say I have been pretty much teaching the class).

AND...with a new car payment, my dad is really pushing me to stay at Tech and get my Masters from here and keep my full-time job.

Which, in reality, is probably the best option. I mean, I know everyone at Mass Comm. I know all the professors I would have. I would still have a full-time job. Plus, after 18 hours I could teach. (And given the status of the photo classes at Tech, I would probably teach.)

Plus, as a full-time employee, I would get one free class a semester.

But, with working full time, it would take me about three years to finish. That would make me 30 years old.

And still in Lubbock. With nothing more than I have now, except a Master’s Degree.

I really have no idea what to do. I have been talking to a few professors at Mass Comm. and they say I should go for it. “It“ being getting a Masters.

But I don’t know if I can stand being in Lubbock that much longer. But with all my new payments (car, insurance, etc) having a guaranteed paycheck every month sure would come in handy.

Basically, this is my cry for help. I don’t know who to talk to or what to do.